7 APRIL, 2009

KITTY

I went home after school and told mom what happened at school, as usual. I ate and talked and ate. I didnt search for kitty around the house as i used to because i sent her to see the vet on monday as she didnt had the appetite to eat for about 2 to 3 days. I am worried sick. My dad too. At the clinic, the doctor told us why she was sick and said we had to leave kitty at the clinic so that they can examining her. I felt like I wanted to cry because I know kitty had suffered so much after the accident last 2 years. The moment the doctor took away kitty from the room, I touched kitty n felt very sad because I dont want to leave kitty alone. I dont want to be separated from kitty but I have to. After I ate n talked so much to my mom, n my mom said, 'da habis mkn?' n I was like 'dah.kenape?' then she said ' urm, adik, kitty.... kitty..' n i said, 'kitty kenapa?' n she said again 'kitty...' and i said with a laugh ' kenapa?' and my mom facial expression became weird and i continued ' kitty da xde?' n i started to cry really hard before my mom said yes. My mom cried as well. She quickly hugged me and said some stuff that i can barely hear. I cant stop crying at that time.

I cant think about anything accept :

1) Why did you leave me?

2) I cant see you again

3) I cant hug you anymore

4) I cant play with you anymore

5) You cant be with me everytime i feel down/scared/happy anymore

6) I cant bathe you anymore

7) I cant talk to you anymore

8) I cant kiss you anymore

9) I cant see your beautiful eyes anymore

10) I cant touch you anymore

11) I cant eat with you seating on my laps anymore

12) I cant hear your bells anymore

13) I cant see you coming happily and excitedly to me anymore

14) I cant hear your voice anymore.

15) I cant give you food and drinks anymore

16) I cant be mad at you anymore

17) You cant hug my feet anymore

18) You cant sit on my books whenever i study anymore

19)I cant tell stories about you to my friends anymore

Well, there's a lot of things in my mind at that time until now. I cant accept the fact that kitty had gone but I'm trying to accept it slowly. As my friends said, kitty would not want to see me cry over and over again because of her but she wants me to be happy and move on with my life. Yes, I agree. Thank you for all the advice you guys gave me. Thank god I have friends that do care about me and cried together with me. I will never forget about all the memories with you, kitty. I love you and I will miss you very, very much. I will be strong, just for you. Thank you for being a very lovely cat n a friend. Again, I will never forget about you, my dear Kitty. :)

P/s : I know Kitty is only a cat but she means everything to me :)